Monday, 3 March 2014

52 Things in 52 Weeks – First Update. What I’ve learned.

52 Things in 52 Weeks – First Update. What I’ve learned.

It’s March, and I’m still thinking about my new year’s resolution. I think that says a LOT right there! *patting*myself*on*the*back*
Let me share some of the thing I’ve learned so far:

1.       I am VERY average

The things that I think that I will do that are extraordinary… most of those end up getting lost in the madness of “life.”

2.       Being VERY average is totally OKAY

I’m plagued by a threatening, and wildly distracting voice inside of me that tells me that if I cannot do something perfectly, then I am a complete failure of a person, and that I might as well quit altogether at said activity. THIS VOICE IS LYING TO ME!!!!! And I’m finally hearing it for what it is, and learning what to do with it. I have failed miserably at many of the things on my list, and the glorious thing is that I’m failing with GRACE! I’m also doing really well at other things. I think this makes me normal. Average. And totally okay. (I think next year, I’m going to make one of my 52 have to do with silencing this voice, and believing new things about myself).

3.       I tend to do the things that I ENJOY and don’t do the things I dislike

Yep. I know what you’re thinking… “duh, Holly… I could have told you that.” And I know… this shouldn’t be a new concept for me or anyone. But let me put it this way;
We live in a self-help culture where almost everyone is trying, at some level or another, to better himself. And I actually don’t think that this is inherently a bad thing at all. I am on this bandwagon, and I think it’s very Biblical to try to be our best, recognize when we’re not doing that well, and do what we can to change it.
So why is it, then, that in our self-help culture, where everyone is trying to be the best person they can be, that our world is riddled with sin, adultery, addiction, self-harm, abuse, self-hatred, depression, anxiety, betrayal, confusion, etc. etc. etc. There are a million valid reasons for this… but I think one small part of it is… we have set ourselves up for failure by trying too hard to do the things we SHOULD do, and not so much the things we WANT to do. I want us to have permission to stop “SHOULD”ing on ourselves (*teehee*), and start simply DOING what we like. I know that when I feel healthier, and better about myself, I’m more likely to have the capacity to get up and do the things I “should” do. But in the meantime, I can find lots to do that is healthy, and positive, AND on my list of enjoyed activities.
I hope this makes sense. In a nutshell, I LOVE brussel sprouts, and I DISPISE mushrooms. Both are healthy. I could focus hard on getting more of the uber healthy mushrooms in my diet, or I could just stop driving myself insane, and binge on brussel sprouts because it makes me happy. Happy is okay, and tends to be underrated. STOP DEPRESSIONS WITH A SIMPLE DOSE OF HAPPY. Do something that you like. That’s what I’ve been doing, and it’s HELPING!!!!!

4.       I believe too many bad things about myself

I think this is going to be a blog post coming up… but let me preface it with these questions (and please don’t rob yourself of this opportunity for self-evaluation by giving a cookie cutter Christian answer. REALLY analyze yourself… EVERYONE can benefit from this) :


Even if you know where I’m going with this, think about it… this is such a huge part of how we function as people.

5.       I don’t need to know everything before I do something

I have wanted to write this update for a long time, but I have stopped myself for a million reasons. Most of those reasons sound something like this,

“I’m not qualified to write about this.” “I know 100 people more qualified to write about this than me.” “I shouldn’t say anything until I’ve read a book about it.” “What if I preach heresy!?!”

And actually, every single one of those point are completely true. But they shouldn’t stop me. This is a continual struggle, as is everything else I’ve said thus far. Feel free to pray for me, and encourage me that I’m not the worst. I need it… we all need it. The world is not always kind to us, so we need to be EXTRA kind to each other.

6.       Prepare, prepare, prepare

Most often, the things that I’m most proud of in my life are things that I’ve spent lots of work and time preparing for.
(Yep… I have presented a paradox. This point is going to rival the message from previous points. But I believe in your ability to sort it out in your capable brains.) :D
I find that much of my reason for NOT keeping up with my less desirable goals in my “52 Things in 52 Weeks” is that I was under-prepared in my tracking method. I am now so far behind in knowing exactly HOW well I’m doing that I’m discouraged in even trying. I think the trick is just in finding my footing, accepting the imperfections, and doing something I can be proud of today… or this week… or this month.

In a nutshell,
I’m totally average, and totally okay!
I’m going to do things that I like, and good for me!
My negative beliefs have limited me in the past, but my future is brighter, and I’m learning to be free to think that I AM AWESOME!
I am on a journey to accepting that I am imperfectly perfect.
And it doesn’t hurt to work hard, think a lot, and prepare a bit when it comes to things we really care about.

As always, I hope you were blessed by something here.

I really hope.

Want an example of me walking out a bit of the lessons I’ve learned?

I’m purposely not allowing myself to go back and edit this. I’m just going to post it. Because I’m HOPING that even in its imperfections, it’s good enough. (And I know that if I begin down that road, my insecurities will talk me out of posting, which would be really unfortunate.)

Anyway… I’m off to go do something that I WANT to do… hang out with my handsome hubby, and my beautiful boys (who happen to think that I’m the bees knees… even when I don’t. I WIN!)

Be Blessed

~ Holly

1 comment:

  1. I like this, Holly. Some great realizations and insights.